Written by a Very Close Friend- Mike Clay R.I.P. December 15th, 2005. at 72
Since first he saw the light of day Young Ivan showed them all the way
He was a clever little lad – Which made his parents very glad
The leader in the one yard dash They called this whippet Dasher Thrash
The local gals were very fleet- He chased them up and down the street
Anxious babes yelled “giddy-up!” And one by one he knocked them up
His bedroom manner was superb A door knob card read “Don’t Disturb!”
His preference was for topless chicks So some of them retained their knicks
Himself a bottomless guru – (this served him well while in the loo).
World- class lover, Cupid’s son, He showed Don Juan how it was done
Master of the grab and grope He gave sex lessons to the Pope
Then when the girls could take no more He left them cold and went to war
While overseas in Gaie Pairee He parlez voued with belles jeunes filles
He led them all a wild lap dance And rode them in his Tour de France
Bold Ivan served his country well He came back when it’s Axis fell
He was no longer fancy free Ontario got a new M.P.P.
He spoke with such flan and flair The speaker fell clean off his chair
Flamboyant speeches, twice a day Put Liberal benches in decay
A racing empire he then built The envy of Colin Vanderbilt
He jumped aboard a passing star and serenaded from afar
a classic champion thoroughbred whose kind consent she gave to wed
But not before he sank a gin and wooed her on his violin
Awesome Orpha was her name Ivan’s greatest claim to fame
And then the Master of his Fate he made his mark in Real Estate
He’d sell you mountains in Nepal the Brooklyn Bridge the Taj Mahal
And now he’s close on 89aging like a vintage wine
So while you feel as right as rain Uncork a magnum of Champagne
It’s Now arrived May 21st It’s time for you to quench your Thirst!
Written by Mike Clay R.I.P. December 15th, 2005. at 72
